Addicted Twenty-Something Part Two
Friday, June 3rd, 2011
This interview was conducted three weeks after this young woman had a Deep Transformative Clearing.
Since the Clearing, my panic attacks have subsided, and I don’t feel the same levels of intense fear and panic as I was feeling before. I no longer have suicidal thoughts, or thoughts that I am bad or damaged, or evil. The intrusive thoughts have mostly subsided and I am not having the same nightmares or anxiety attacks. I feel clearer about what I want in life and what I do not want. And I think I have a bit more patience and acceptance than I did before.
For at least a week following the Clearing, I was feeling horrible. I couldn’t stop crying or feeling confused or sad or upset…I was extremely depressed. But then I started to calm down and even out. It’s been a very gradual progression. It seemed like I was releasing a lot of negativity and emotions, and I am still doing that now…but I notice that I just have a more level state of mind.
Unfortunately, I’ve been depressed periodically and sometimes feel like I want to escape. I also still cry randomly and feel aggravated and angry about my past. But it seems like I can deal with it better than I could before. I think I am able to talk to myself and relax instead of exploding and making a big deal out of nothing. I am still hurting over my breakup, but I am making it through more easily and have more faith I am on a positive path and things will get better.
I have been inspired to make several adjustments to my lifestyle since the Clearing. I no longer have a desire to eat meat or poultry or anything so I have become a vegetarian. Additionally, I have no interest in fake sugars and processed food. In fact, I’m trying to be extremely healthy: Nine days ago I joined the gym and have been actually able to work out regularly. As a result, I have more energy. I am also happy to report that I have let go of a lot of people in my life who are not supportive or beneficial to my healing.
A couple of times recently, I consumed alcohol more than I meant to, but following those occurrences I thought to myself, “I really don’t want this substance in my body.” I have no desire to smoke pot or do drugs at all, nor do I crave to drink. I am currently practicing abstinence and I now see sex as more of a sacred, loving act to be shared with someone I really care for.
I have been really withdrawn from everyone during this process. Spending time alone is really important to me right now. And since most people from my old life do not support my new lifestyle or believe in this process. I have started to hang out with new people who are more in tune with me. And I am grateful that my new group of friends is getting to know the me now, not the me in the past.
I think I was expecting some crazy miraculous event to take place that would magically heal me. But I’ve realized, I have received what I needed and I now I have to put the work in myself. I have been able to let go of a lot of pain, anxiety attacks, fear, etc– feelings that were preventing me from moving forward. And although I feel heartache still, I know that will pass, too. My life has definitely improved in many ways and I now have to tools to help it continue to improve.
Category addictions, at-risk, depression, information, suicide, teens, testimonials, Uncategorized / Tags: /
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